A man traveling in the back of a jeep on an African safari, bounced out of his seat into the road and was devoured by a bunch of lions. Sometimes a FALL COMES BEFORE A PRIDE

The occupants of Fort Blanche were going crazy, Every night they heard a voice repeating…one, two three, four…First of all they thought that someone was hiding in the moat so they drained it but the voice kept on …seven eight, nine, ten… Then they thought that maybe the guards were responsible so they executed them…twenty one, twenty two, twenty three…Finally they went to the high priest who explained that this had been going on for centuries and that they should understand that IT’S THE FORT THAT COUNTS

"Thank you," said the prostitute as her client left and handed her the money. "IT WAS A BUSINESS DOING PLEASURE WITH YOU."

After a series of robberies, the police arrested the occupants of a duplex who were working together. They believed that GOOD NEIGHBOURS MAKE GOOD FENCES

A man was driving down a country road, when his car hit a large rabbit. He got out of the car and saw the animal writhing on the ground. He couldn’t decide whether to try to help it or to kill it and put it out of its misery. Just then another driver stopped his car and came over. He took one look and went back to his car and returned with a bottle and fed the contents into the rabbit’s mouth. Immediately the animal jumped up and ran off into the woods. "That’s fantastic," exclaimed the first man. "You must be a veterinarian. What did you give the rabbit?" "Actually," came the reply, "I’m a hairdresser," as he showed him the bottle of HAIR RESTORER.

Last week there was a robbery of Viagra and other sex drugs from a chemical warehouse. The big knobs at the police, who don’t want to pussyfoot around and blow the case, claim that the thieves are hardened criminals who gained entry via the elevator shaft by removing several screws. The case is a little prickly as there is not much known about the men involved. Witnesses stated orally that one man was holding the rear door of the van erect as the other one loaded the boxes into it and that they overheard the men talking and using the names of Dick and Rod. There could be other men in the gang as one of the thieves was saying that the job wasn’t worthwhile without Sid or Phil. There may also be a woman involved as one of the men was heard stating "I’ll try see Alice later." When they are apprehended they will receive a stiff sentence under the Penal Code

A man visited a fortune teller and held out his palms to be read. "I have some good news for you," smiled the gypsy. "You are going to come into a lot of money today!" The man stood up and slapped the woman across the face. "What the hell are you doing?" she demanded. "Well," replied the man calmly, "I was always told to STRIKE A HAPPY MEDIUM."

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