Dating. Beautiful, challenging and complicated game. You want to be on top of it, right? You want to ride the wave, finish up the first and take the prize - the best partner out there! You want to be a winner at the mating game and live the life of sweet promises that the whole world conspired to intoxicate your mind since you were a kid.
Where are the happy endings, where is the funny-easy-playful way of getting the girl or the boy? Where is the promised land of ecstatic feelings, the passionate love making and godlike alchemy you are supposed to become when you are in love?
Well, they are all there but it seems that nobody told you that it takes both science and art to get you where you are supposed to be, according to your life scenario. The truth is that it can be as much fun, pleasure and a growing experience as it can be painful, humiliating and full of uncertainties.
The good news is that this game has some unchanging rules, established by biology, society, cultural norms. The bad news is that some of the rules are changing on an ongoing basis, depending on the personality treats that every one has them. Previous experiences will translates in engrams, fears, traumas or certain expectations that will burden the fragile entity that it is a fresh relationship.
Rarely a couple is formed only by 2 persons, usually your bed will be shared by at least 2 other people: your each other projections of the other one. And that makes it crowded and sweaty, from all the wrong reasons.
Therefor, each of you will have to learn the art of dating and the science of having a healthy relationship. Although you may grow up thinking that you know it all, sooner or later sufferance and failure will be the supreme masters that will get you back to school and make you take on a more technical approach.
And you shall have no fear: even if you apply some discipline to it, the romance and magic will still be there, this time with a solid base.
Answering some questions will help you see the light. e.g. What do you want from a relationship? What needs do you expect to be fulfilled by your partner? Which are the personality types that really sparks your fire without burning you to the ground? How much are you willing to compromise and which things you can't bargain with?
Answers and strategies don't come easy, of course, but anyway, who said that it should be easy?!
The truth is that dating and relationships can be so complicated that many times you'll feel like giving up. Then you'll be the blase that went through all of this, got in and got out since "nobody is really worth it" and the smart way is to show an olympian detachment to the teenagerish emotional games.
But you'll be back, humbled by loneliness, hungry for communion and impatient to dance the moves of love. Only this time you'll accept the ridiculous idea that a strong love relationship it doesn't just happened, it doesn't come naturally (yes, they lied to us), that it takes effort and time to build it, that is neither cheap nor easy but it will be worth all the prices.
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