1. A Disconnection from Your True Self: What do you really want in your life? What is your main priority for how you want to spend your time? Do you have clarity about this or does it feel all jumbled and unclear? Are you too busy just handling what is going on in your life to even contemplate these questions? Your true self, your authentic self is always crystal clear about what is most important and what would make you happiest. SOLUTION: Take time to get to know your true self, your true desires. Time together with your true self is what builds the connection. The more you tune into this deeper part of you, the stronger and clearer the information becomes. Take a day to spend with yourself—journal, walk in the woods, go somewhere uplifting and inspirational—reflect on what is most important to you at this time of your life. Plan for what you can you do to adjust your life to make these things top priority. In this moment, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths, ask your true self "What is most important to me to focus on right now in my life, the top 4 priorities?" and now just listen. Write these 4 things down on index cards and place them around your house and in your car so you can see these all the time to help you stay focused. When requests of your time come in you can check to see if doing what is requested fits in with your priorities right now.

2. Difficulty Saying NO: How comfortable are you saying No to those around you? If it is really impossible for you to say no, than it is a given that you will routinely be pulled off track from what is most important for you. What are the fears in saying No? Many people fear that others will get mad, withdraw from them or end the relationship. If it is an employer, there may be a fear that you won’t be considered a good, dedicated worker. You may fear others judgments of you if you say No---judgments like "Who does she think she is?" or "He is selfish" or "She is mean". In order to stay on track in your life you have to be willing to let go of what others think of you and even risk upsetting them. If you are unwilling to do this it is a guarantee that you will get off track in staying focused on the desires of your authentic self. SOLUTION: Give yourself permission to say NO and have it be OK---you are not intentionally trying to hurt someone else, just trying to stay on track with your own life. This is not a bad thing to do. If you know there are situations where you have a hard time saying NO, practice what to say with a friend. Having the words, and how to say it, can make it easier when the time comes to say No. Examples could be: "Sam, I would really love to help you out with that project, but I have another project that is taking up all of my time, so I have to say No." or "Thank you for the invitation, but I’m going to have to pass." The more simple and direct you communicate your "No", the better. You don’t need to offer elaborate explanations or justifications for your NO, we all have the right to say No simply because we just don’t want to. The more you develop the skill of saying No, the more focused and clear you will feel in your life.

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