3. Addiction to being Busy: There can be many reasons why people get addicted to being busy. For some people who grew up in a chaotic household, busy-ness and chaos feels "normal" to them and living in a more relaxed and balanced way can feel awkward and uncomfortable. When it is calm and quiet, there is no distraction from the feelings on the inner level, which they never learned how to deal with when they were young. The interesting thing with this dynamic is that the creation of the chaos in their current life can be unconscious, so they aren’t aware that they are the one creating the busy-ness by their choices over and over. Many people stuck in this pattern are convinced that this busy-ness is inevitable because of their unique life situation "I have kids, life is just chaotic when you have kids." Or "I have to work this many hours at work, they expect this from me at work, I have no choice." SOLUTION: If this is a pattern for you, it is important for you to see it clearly- make the unconscious, conscious by getting clear that it is the pattern of your choices that has led to the current situation and that you can make different choices to create something different. Make the shift from a victim stance "This is just how it is, I am helpless to make it different" to a more empowered stance "I have the power to change this and create a loving balance for myself." The other piece of making this shift from chaos to more balance is to also address ways to cope with the underlying feelings that you have been avoiding. You will keep creating chaos if there is no plan to deal effectively with the old painful feelings from your childhood and also to deal with feelings in general in your life. Seeing a therapist to work with these underlying feelings can be very helpful in shifting this pattern.

4. Desire for Excitement: For some people their authentic self loves excitement and adventure. They like to travel, explore and experience life in a larger way---as a grand adventure. It is important to know if this is who you are in your deepest self and to make sure you are consciously meeting this need for exciting experiences. What can happen if these people aren’t meeting this need is that they can create the excitement in an unhealthy way by creating chaos in their lives and than trying to manage it—it gives a similar adrenalin rush as an exciting adventure. This can also be created by engaging in addictions of various sorts as well. It is important to notice the difference in this vs. the previous addiction to busy-ness---rather than the excitement being an avoidance of feelings it is actually a true desire of the authentic self that needs to be expressed---but in a healthy, safe way. Clients who I have worked with feel a sense of relief when they discover this is what they have been doing in their life. Once they consciously start meeting this need in healthy ways, like planning regular adventures, their unhealthy patterns of getting excitement fall away. SOLUTION: If you know this is true for you, start planning exciting adventures for yourself---whether it is a trip to South America or a planning an exciting day long adventure. Infusing excitement and adventure in healthy ways will help your authentic self feel satisfied and you will be able to stay more focused and clear in your day to day life.

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