5. Not Feeling "Good Enough": If you are not clear about your intrinsic worth and lovability you will try to get approval from others through doing things to please them. This will have a big effect on how you manage your time by causing you to stretch beyond your limits of available time, in order to please others to get their approval. You will watch your friend’s kids even though you don’t have time that day. You will agree to do a project at work to please your co-workers and boss, even though you don’t have time. You will stay talking on the phone with a friend longer than you want to so they won’t get upset and disapprove of you. You aren’t able to be honest with them because it is more important to get them to approve of you, so you feel "good enough", than it is to honor your own time. SOLUTION: At the deepest part of you, what you truly long for is a deep connection with who you truly are and to have a deep knowing that you are a wonderful, amazing, loveable and loving being who is perfect just as you are. Your worth is not contingent on; how much you work, if your house is clean, how much money you make, if your kids get good grades, who you are pleasing, what you are doing for others---you are worthy just for being you. You have intrinsic worth that does not fluctuate with others’ opinions of you. Getting real clear on your lovability by starting to be the loving parent to yourself -- letting yourself know in this very moment you are "good enough"--will make it easier to slow down and make loving choices about your time.

6. Lack of Simplifying Skills: If the above underlying emotional issues are addressed and you are still challenged with not being able to be focused, it may be due to a lack of simplifying skills. Simplifying skills are: being able to declutter and organize the areas around you---at home and at work—so you can easily focus when you are in them. For most people, if there is lots of clutter and things are disorganized around them, it is easily to get distracted and off track. What I have found is some people have more developed skills in this area than others. For example, my brother and sister are very organized and this comes fairly naturally for them. I, on the other hand did not inherit this natural ability, and so for me it is a process of learning the skills of simplifying and organizing and then putting them into practice. One of the ways to develop these skills is to learn from those people who are naturally organized and then adapt it to what will be workable for you. I have done this by hiring a professional organizer to assist me with organizing by paperwork and business materials. As she is assisting me, I am also learning because she is teaching me a method of organizing that I can replicate on my own. I’m learning those skills that are not innate for me. This has made a world of difference for me in functioning more effectively and efficiently in my life. An example for me was that shortly after we had organized all of my business paperwork I needed to plan for an upcoming Workshop. It took me half the time to prepare because with my papers being organized I could easily get to all of the different materials I needed. I called Jackie that day and exclaimed "I’m so happy, it was so much fun preparing for the Workshop because I wasn’t spending all of my time looking for things!" SOLUTION: If you realize you are lacking in simplifying skills find ways to learn those skills. There are wonderful books, tapes and other materials that have wonderful simplifying information. Ask for assistance from someone in your life who is naturally organized. Either pick their brain for tips on how to organize or have them come to your home or office and go through things with you. Sometimes getting support when it feels overwhelming can make a world of difference in making these changes. If you are learning the skills and have read a lot of organizing materials for tips and things have not changed for you, it means you have an underlying emotional issue that needs to be addressed before you can move forward. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you need years of therapy, it may be an issue that can be resolved in one session. Once you address this, implementing new simplifying skills will be much easier and effective. Take steps to give yourself the gift of a Simple life, one that is filled with all of the things that are most meaningful to you and also enough time to enjoy them.

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