Being left out is a fairly common occurrence, as children begin learning around age six to eight to make and choose their friends. Leaving some children out is often unintentionally hurtful, as children learn to strengthen their bonds with some children by excluding others.

If your child has ever experienced being left out, or is the one doing the excluding, don't embarrass her in front of others. Better to wait for a quiet moment when you can calmly discuss either behaviour or circumstance.

If your child comes home one day feeling rejected, probe further to find out exactly what happened. Then, reassure your child that this is a very common part of life that just about everyone experiences, and relate a time or two when it's happened to you. And, of course, be sure to praise your child for being able to talk to you about the experience so that he/she will feel comfortable doing so in the future.

If, on the other hand, your child has excluded someone, explain the effect this might have on the child who's being excluded, including the hurt and embarrassment if might have caused. Explain further why you'd like your child to be more compassionate and considerate of others, and, as always, role model such behaviour in your household.

When it comes to bullying, this is, again, rather common. In fact, studies have shown that about one third of all children and teenagers have been either the target or the bully at one time or another. This bullying usually takes the form of physical bullying (hitting, punching, and pushing) or verbal bullying (name-calling, threats, insults, teasing, spreading rumours, etc.).

The problem, of course, is that children take bullying very seriously. Being bullied can leave lasting scars that are carried throughout life, and, at worst, can lead to suicide or violence (the shooters in the Columbine High School tragedy in the States were bullied youngsters who retaliated).

According to researchers, bullying behaviour is learned, rather than inborn. While some children are naturally more aggressive, bullying behaviour develops when aggression is rewarded rather than curbed. For example, if a child learns that bullying will get him something he wants (a toy from another child, extra attention, etc.), then the behaviour has given the child a reward.

So, what can parents do to prevent their child from bullying or being bullied? It begins early, identifying and working with overly aggressive children to make sure they are not rewarded for such behaviour, which will lessen the likelihood that it turns into bullying.

For children who might be the victim of bullies, experts suggest teaching your children to be good friends. Experts contend that children who have more friends are bullied less frequently than those who can't turn to other kids for support. In addition, the victims of bullying are often those children who stand out from the crowd in awkward ways. This includes what kids wear, their lunches and so on.

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