In just about any family with more than one child, the issue of sibling rivalry is sure to crop up. I'd be amazed if it didn't. Bickering, jealousy, competition for attention, and so on, are the norm when it comes to raising multiple children in the same household. So, what can parents do about it?

First of all, be aware that sibling rivalry has been going on since the dawn of civilization (think Cain and Abel), and will probably always be with us. And, to a certain degree, we should accept that it's normal. Even in families where the children are a little older, such as mine, the sibling rivalry can still surface.

Next, be aware of the root causes of sibling rivalry. Some of the most common are: gender, age (including order of birth), personality differences, and the attitude of parents. Let's be honest, parents; the way we treat our children and the rules we apply to them can change over the years, from one child to the next, as we learn and grow as parents. Plus, it's not surprising to see the oldest child treated differently from the baby of the family. Boys may be treated differently than girls, and we may place different expectations on different children.

Thus, parents themselves may be a profound source of children sensing and reacting to some disparate treatment. Even though we, as parents, typically try to treat and love all our children equally and fairly, it's still possible to be inconsistent, to have a closer bond with one child versus another, to be able to get along with one child better than another. Children tend to pick up on the slightest difference in treatment or attitude, and the result is the cry heard round the world: "It's not fair!"

Thus, we see the root cause of sibling rivalry. So, what's the solution? I won't mislead you by saying there is one. However, I've done a bit of research and found ten tips to help parents deal with sibling rivalry.

1. Communication. As with most parenting issues, getting your children to express what they're feeling (anger, resentment, jealousy, frustration, etc.) is a big first step. Then, acknowledge those feelings, validate them, and teach your children to deal with their feelings in a constructive manner. A constructive manner, for example, would be to try seeing things from the other child's perspective, versus a destructive manner (lashing out, hitting, fighting, etc.).

2. Establish household rules. Again, it starts with the attitude and the boundaries you, as parents, bring to the table. Sibling rivalry often results from things - clothes, toys, personal space (bedrooms), etc. - so, by establishing very clear rules and boundaries for your household, you can eliminate some of the most common grounds for arguments between your children.

3. Parental attitude. Similar to tip number two, make sure your attitude is consistent and you avoid making comparisons in front of children. Instead, praise differences and the uniqueness, including talents and interests, in your children.

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