I’ve attended many weddings where children took part in the ceremony, and it’s always a lovely, spirit-lifting moment. On one occasion, five children—all under the age of twelve—joined their respective parents in a gazebo that was perched on a cliff overlooking the Pacific Ocean. After the minister pronounced the couple husband and wife, the bride and groom solemnly handed each child a necklace bearing a gold Family Medallion*. Each parent promised to cherish the children and provide them with a loving home. After a group hug, the bride, groom, and children stood facing the (damp-eyed) guests, and the minister presented the new family!

The reception offers other natural opportunities to include children, such as in posing a toast, having father/daughter or mother/son dances or introducing the newly married couple. If possible and appropriate, you and your fiancé should seat your children at the head table with you. They can also be a part of the cake-cutting ceremony or perform a rehearsed dance routine for the guests—which the wedding couple may wish to be a part of as well.

Whatever manner you choose to include your children into your ceremony, be sure to coordinate your wishes with your officiant, who will certainly be helpful with your plans. Including your children will make them feel important and help foster the idea that marriage is not just about joining a husband and a wife, but creating a new family!

Simply opening up the communication, filling children in on decisions made and asking for their opinion during the planning stages will help pave the way for a smooth-running, joyous wedding and the start of a special life together as an expanded family.

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