I've struggled a bit with this article trying to put my thoughts into words. How do you talk about something that has so many sides to it like holidays? This time of year can be a lot of fun but it can also be filled with a lot of stress.

With the holidays fast approaching (I mean they are on us now) things start to really heat up and move quickly. If we're not really careful we can get into "doing mode" and believe performance is all that really counts.

You know the get it done, keep going, and get more done, kind of thing.

To help me with this article today, I went to dictionary.com to get a general definition of holiday:

1. A day free from work that one may spend at pleasure, especially a day on which custom or the law dictates a halting of general business activity to commemorate or celebrate a particular event. 2. a religious feast day, a holy day. 3. Chiefly British, A vacation. Often used in the phrase on holiday

It seems that the first two definitions are really appropriate for many of us during this time in Western Culture. There are a number of holidays celebrated during December that fall into the "day of leisure...a halting of general business activity to commemorate or celebrate a particular event" or that fall into the "holy day" category.

But I know that for me I need to be really careful or the actual day of the holiday is not so much a "day of leisure" as it is a “day of recovery” because I've been way out of balance getting to the day. Or maybe worse, it is a day filled with so much activity; celebratory meals, company, gifts etc that the day is a blur of activity rather than a day of enjoyment.

My new mantra "awareness is curative" helped us to feed 18 people Thanksgiving Day. And in addition we were able to enjoy everything that went into the day including the planning, buying and preparing. The trick was to fill each day with lots of STOPs to get a handle on where we were and check to see if things were on course.

If you're not familiar with the notion of STOP it's out of "The Inner Game of Work” by Tim Gallwey and it goes like this:

(S)tep back from the situation

(T)hink about what is going on

(O)rganize your thoughts (get in touch with you)

(P)roceed again (maybe slowly) in the chosen direction

These STOPs allowed both Tom and I to stay organized and to really plan the event from menu to market, to prep, to table and to serve. But it did something else for me that was much more important.

The STOPs allowed me to stay in touch with why I was doing the dinner and what my bigger goal was. When I started to be a bit agitated or worried over things the STOPs provided a wonderful way to check in with myself and keep on track both emotionally as well as functionally.

Here is another big piece...I walked away from work completely guilt free. The STOPs helped me stay on course to complete what was necessary in the office. That way I was completely free from my business obligations while preparing for the event.

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