We like to be right. It’s more comfortable to feel that you were right. No-body likes to be wrong; Being wrong is a minor issue to some people but a real issue to others. Why so? What does being wrong infer, what does it mean, what is so unpalatable about it?

It all boils down to self confidence. Some people’s self confidence, their self-worth , comes from within, whilst for others it comes from the outside. As children growing up we look to others for approval, we are told what we have done is wrong or right. This is a natural way in which to learn. As you get older, if you have a high sense of self-worth, firm self-confidence, we are less dependent on the approval of others, although we do all like approval and are more comfortable when we have a sense of approval, being liked, and fitting in.

If on the other hand, the experiences of growing up leave you with a lesser sense of self-belief and confidence, your emotional needs will remain more dependent on the way in which people react to you, and whether they appear to approve of you or not. Now you are in danger of really hating being in the wrong. It is more uncomfortable to you because you assume that if you are wrong people won’t approve of you, they won’t like you. Now, I’m not saying that this is what you are logically thinking – anything but. It is instead what you are instinctively feeling, and so you will do anything to avoid being wrong. ..and if you know you are wrong, you will do anything in your attempt to not have to admit it.

This of course can lead to tricky situations. I remember quite specifically a situation which occurred when in High School. We were sitting at the bench in Chemistry class. The teacher was writing on the board and neither I, nor the girl next to me, could quite see what the teacher was writing. She asked what I thought it was and I said "iodine". A little later she scribbled "iodide" on her pad and said that it was iodide and not iodine. I said (not wanting to admit I was wrong) that that was what I had said. This girl, Suzanne, did me an enormous favor when she pointed out "you always have to be right, don’t you?"

From that moment on, I realized how much easier it was to admit I was wrong than to try to pretend that you were right. It was a very important turning point for me in that I learned how easy it is to say that I was wrong and learn to laugh at mistakes. I grew a lot from that one incident.

It is important in life to keep on growing and stretching and not to just stop when you reach the age of 20 or 25. Life is a learning curve. If you are aware that your confidence is based upon external reference points, you can choose to change this. Just because you have always thought in a particular way or had a particular pattern of beliefs does not mean that you cannot change. Nothing could be further from the truth. To enable change you have to be a willing subject and then you need to be away about some of the basic ways in which you mind works.

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