Parents often complain bitterly that their children don't listen. Yet children regularly grumble that their parents don't listen or understand them either. Unfortunately, both parties are right. In this modern age of mobiles, Internet etc were there is such a vast range of communication tools and gadgets we are often too busy to really connect on a meaningful level. However excellent communication is the glue that holds any healthy relationship together. It is the lynch pin to excellent parenting.
In this article, I intend to explain what communication is, and why communicating with our children is vital. Then I will give you some simple tools for successful communication.
What is communication? Communication is a social interaction, the process of sharing information between two or more people. Communication can be verbal as in speech or non-verbal as in sign language, gestures or written communication. It is the exchanging or imparting of thoughts, opinion or information. Communication is the art of speaking and listening. Good communication requires active listening as well as talking.
Why is good communication vital in a parent child relationship?
· Good communication can determine the nature of parent child relationships from birth to adolescence and beyond. · Good communication nurtures closer family bonds. · Good communication prevents misunderstandings from occurring. · Good communication is the key to building self-esteem in children and young people. · Children learn how to communicate effectively by following our good example.
The art of good communication - Good communication is all about encouraging children to talk, showing them you are listening, reflective listening, respecting opinions and talking politely. Research shows that about 85% of what we communicate is non-verbal. Non-verbal communication includes eye contact, posture, and physical movements such as folding our arms or leaning forward. As you can see non-verbal communication is more important than verbal communication so it is very important to watch your body language.
Encouraging children to talk - Encouraging children to talk when they are very young paves the way to positive communication in teenage years. Children who are more reserved will often talk when they are occupied in a physical task such as baking or walking. Most children will need little encouragement to talk but will ‘dry up' if they are continually interrupted, criticised or ignored. Can you remember a time when you were talking to someone who either kept interrupting or whose mind was elsewhere? I'm sure you felt like giving up because you felt unheard. Children's biggest complaint about parents is that they don't listen.
Show them we are listening - Children can be discouraged from communicating if parents are distracted by talking to someone else on the phone or giving instructions to another child. Give your child your undivided attention by switching off the television and facing them. We need to physically get down to children at their level. There will be times when you need to complete a task but you can respond so they know you are listening. Have you ever experienced having a conversation with someone who towered over you? It can be a daunting experience.
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