Getting back with your ex is an incredibly difficult thing to do because there been feelings hurt and hearts broken. What can make it worse is there are also probably very unrealistic expectations of what you want from each other. The thing to realize is that you are both human and fully capable of making mistakes. Not only that but it should be understood that both of you are going to make mistakes. The reason that you are broken up or divorced is that there were mistakes made on both of your parts. As much as you would like to believe it, neither one of you are perfect and are, actually, quite far from it. Getting back with your ex means realizing this.

While getting back with your ex or trying to do that it is going to be very obvious and easy to point out the mistakes that the other made. What is going to be harder is to point out the mistakes that you made. You have to look closely and see what it was that you did that either helped make the split possible but helped make the situation and relationship as bad as it got. You have to own up to your part in the ending of the relationship.

You have to own your own mistakes. You can’t hide them. You can’t cover them up. You can’t make excuses for them. You can’t sugar coat them. You can’t pretend they aren’t there. You can’t do any of that and have the reconciliation effort succeed. Pointing fingers is what caused the split to happen in the first place. Pointing fingers is not going to help getting back with your ex. You are only human. That point may seem obvious but in the attitude we take sometimes we may not show we feel that way.

In getting back with your ex, you have to realize also that your ex boyfriend or ex boyfriend or ex husband or ex wife you no longer want to be your ex. You have to understand that if you want them to be with you for the long term or for life you have to realize how special they are to you. They can’t realize that if they can’t feel that you think that. They have to know that you want to be with them. If you treat them like trash for the mistakes they made and hold it over their head they aren’t going to feel very special. The mistakes they made may have been bad but you need to let them know that you want to be with them anyway. They have to see from you that they are special enough to look past their faults.

Isn’t that what you want? To know that even with all your faults that they love you still? What greater way is there than to show that to the person you want to be with? There is no other thing that is going to help them feel truly special. It doesn’t excuse mistakes but it says that what you have together is bigger and better than what it was that tore you apart. Getting back with your ex means realizing each other’s humanity and loving each other anyway.

These are the initial steps to follow when you've lost the love of your life. But frankly, these aren’t my original ideas... They come from, T ‘Dub’ Jackson.

T ‘Dub’ authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called "The Magic Of Making Up. And you know, it really works.