"When I try to do the work, to approach a task or push through my procrastination, a battle ensues in my mind. I wind up feeling so intimidated that I take a seat and let the battle go on. I get so distracted that I’m paralyzed and I don’t get done whatever I wanted to do. It’s limiting – it limits my ability to set goals and to dream of new things in my life. It tears me down and I feel like I have no control – that my life is out of my control. I have done so much self-help and personal development work in my life that I am aware of all this going on and I feel like I have learned so many different ways to change but I don’t change, which only serves to increase my frustration. There are many starts and stops in my life because I succumb to the battle of the mind. I just don’t know what to do about it and although I’m hopeful I’ll find a way, I have doubts."

This was some very heartfelt comments from a Coaching Client who is learning the methods of neuroscience and value science in our work together. He is observing how his mind works – how it struggles and how he becomes submissive in this partnership.

What he will learn through our work together is that he does have control; he just needs to learn skills to use his power and choose to take charge. As Og Mandino instructs us:

"Weak is he who permits his thoughts to control his actions; strong is he who forces his actions to control his thoughts."

We have all experienced this battle in our minds. We can all relate to my client. The question isn’t whether we have the battle, but rather, who wins the battle in YOUR mind? Do you allow your thoughts to control your life or are you able to take charge?

In my work with clients, observation is critical for change to occur. Clients learn to detach and step back from their thoughts so they can study and reflect upon what’s going on for them. This is not easy. It takes time and practice.

Only from this place, however, is it possible to learn how to choose new thoughts and, hence, choose different actions and manage your emotional response and reactions.

Your Self-Worth
How does the battle in your mind impact you? 95% of the population cannot separate their ideas from their self-worth. What this means is that your thoughts have become ‘who you are’. You cannot see the separation of your thinking and YOU.

Scientists estimate that we have anywhere from 12,000 to 50,000 thoughts each day most of which are repetitive, obsessive thoughts. This means that most of our thoughts aren’t new; we think the same things over and over again. This process causes us to create neurological connections in our brain – habits of thought – which permit us to function well as human beings, hence our ability to do more than one thing at a time like take a shower and listen to the radio. This is what makes us efficient.

But if those patterns of thought are not helpful and constructive, when left unchecked, they can create cycles of behavior that are unhealthy, producing unwanted results. So these neurological connections – these habits of thought – produce habits of behavior that keep us doing the same things over and over again producing the same results. We just chalk it up to "that’s just who I am," and that’s why we struggle to change.

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