LOL - SH - APMP - Laughing Out Loud - So Hard - Almost Pissed My Pants!

I would put a smiley face here but I’m presently using it to wipe away the tears of a good hard belly laugh. Now please sit back and allow me to tell you a good tale. Go get a box of tissues, tears and laughter guaranteed to follow.

Roll time back to Sunday morning and I’m enjoying my second cup of joe, surfing the cyber-news and my wife, the last person under 60 who still reads the printed newspaper, has stumbled across an article by some whining ‘Post-y’ reporter.

Enter Ian Shapira from the far and away wings, here’s where the story gets good. Mr. Shapira’s dog ate his journalistic masterpiece, crapped it out, then the dog had the brains and balls to re-content at Gawker getting an additional 12,146 Post-y content aware readers - as of last count on August 6, 2009 at 9:30 AM. Now this fact adds true insult to injury, The Post got something unheard of for a present day newspaper publishers - new and fresh readership.

In case you haven’t heard this, all major and minor newspapers have a massively declining subscriber base, this includes The Washington Post which is losing some 39.9% of Sunday morning ‘news-geezers’ every year.

Our sad story continues, finally my wife hands me the newspaper and says, you should read this - it’s truly pathetic. I can’t wait, I love a sad story! Wow Now Brown Cow,’ I have just picked up the last tree with printed words upon it and I stumbled into the "library," to see how pitiful it has truly gotten at ‘Mr Post-y.’

Here’s what Mr. Shapira had to say in his well written and pitiful response in the article The Post article, "The Death of Journalism - Gawker Edition." It appears that Mr. Shapira has been sadly and softly crying on his Post Sunday edition after initially and excitedly realizing that Gawker picked up the original article and through the amazing technology of all those tubes called the internet, it re-appeared as, "Generational Consultant Holds America’s Fakest Job" By Hamilton Nolan, 11:52 AM on Thursday, July 9 2009, a funny story about the weird and baffling career choice of "generational consultant," well maybe not as weird as "life or career coach" but whose measuring except Mr. Shapira and ‘Mr. Post-y.’

Now may I present the first thing that popped into my little head after reading all three articles, this is the new online theater of the absurd - Washington Post vs. Gawker - in the "Thrill in Plain Vanilla!"

What do I mean by "vanilla"? I mean possibly the most plain and boring light weight battle ever put together in print, Vegas or cyberspace. No respectable promoter would touch this one with a ten foot pole or with Don King’s money. A real snoozer but a good illustration of future content use battles, legal copyrights ramification and a whole mess of future court battles enriching generations of future lawyers.

I ask you this question - Could there be anything more pathetic or boring than a bunch of Washington DC based middle-aged journalists sending semi-irrate emails about the end of journalism in the western world and the lifting of all their hard sweat filled work? All the while secretly biting their fingernails to the quick, sitting in all those neat rows of tan cubicals, as the worry rolls from every pore about the loss of their 401k’s, the big house on the hill, country club memberships, having to turn in the wife’s leased Range-Rover and the future prospects of JOBLESSNESS.

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