Several months ago, a friend approached me with a question. If I were to get up in front of a large audience and speak about something I thought would make their lives better, what would that subject be? For the last several years of my teaching and speaking career, my first response would have been to say, "Empowerment." This time however, I looked at my friend and without missing a beat said, "The Serenity Prayer."

He looked at me with great surprise; I am still not sure if the surprise was his own or a reflection of the surprise he saw on my face. When he asked me why I would choose this subject, I told him that I had used the Serenity Prayer for almost 20 years in my spiritual coaching and counseling practice to help my clients.

In this article, I would like to explore the serenity aspect of the prayer. As often times is the case, when I begin to talk or write about something, I like to see what Webster’s Dictionary has to say about it.

One definition I found for the word "serenity" was, "A place of calmness and tranquility." The question that brought up for me was, "Is serenity a place where we go or a state that we live within?" Rather than answering this question on my own, I decided to see what other people had to say. Many of the people I asked said that serenity is associated with acceptance, as in The Serenity Prayer: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change." However when asked where they found the calmness and tranquility that defines serenity, some replied that when they did find it, it was when they meditated or chanted; or did yoga or T'ai Chi. For others, it came by listening to certain kinds of music. Some said that playing or singing music could also create that state of serenity. And then there are those that find serenity while cooking, knitting, or even shooting hoops.

Did you notice that all these things required the effort of setting aside a period of time and doing something? It was a place they went to or an activity they participated in. It was clearly not a state of being they experienced in their ordinary day-to-day activities.

Another definition I found for serenity referred to being free from stress or emotion; the absence of mental stress and anxiety. Again, a question arose in my mind. "Does that mean that serenity is only achievable when we are empty of emotions and thoughts?"

Even the possibility of eliminating emotions and thoughts made no sense to me. So I did what I do best and allowed my soul to take me to where the answer might lie, at least where it might lie for me. As often happens when I go into my intuitive self for guidance, I flashed on to something from my own past that guided me to an answer.

For close to twenty years when people ask me what I do for work, I tell them that I don’t do work I do joy. I do joy because about 90% of the time, I am in joy, and part of that joy comes from what I do that some may call work. I can tell them this because I realized that joy, in of itself, is not an emotion, but how fully you live, learn, and move through the emotions that you have at the time that you are having them. Now why would I bring up joy when I am speaking about serenity? Simple – because to be in joy is all about acceptance; accepting exactly where you are, and doing so fully and without judgment. This is the first thing that one prays for in the Serenity Prayer. Serenity is clearly tied to acceptance. So what then is acceptance? Often, we associate acceptance with giving up on something, turning the other cheek.

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