Collateral Contacts.

The evaluator will ask for a list of persons that you think the evaluator should contact. Family members are usually not good contact since they may be biased in your favor. Where possible use independent contacts such as counselors, daycare providers, and school teachers.

Alcohol Assessments.

Where there are allegations of alcohol or drug abuse, the evaluator may refer you to a counselor for a chemical dependency evaluation. It is important that you cooperate in that process.

Psychological Evaluations.

Where there are allegations of emotional or anger problems, the evaluator may refer you to a counselor or psychologist for a psychological evaluation. It is important that you cooperate in that process. Make sure that you communicate with the evaluator or counselor regarding any and all appointments. Budget enough time to complete and testing that is required. A failure to cooperate will appear in the evaluation.

INTERACTING WITH THE EVALUATOR

How you interact with the custody evaluator may be a critical element of your custody case.

• Custody evaluators will oftentimes make you believe that they agree with your side of the case. This is done so that you drop your guard. Never assume that the evaluator’s report will favor your position.
• Custody evaluators are also people. That means they react to personalities. You are best able to present your case to an evaluator if you appear open and honest.
• Do not argue with the evaluator. Make eye contact and listen when they speak. This establishes a connection. It may help to nod your head as they speak even if you disagree with what they are saying. When you disagree, tell them “I see your point, but...” or agree first “I agree, but would you consider this to be important....”
• The custody evaluator does not care about good guys and bad guys. The evaluator cares about what is in the “best interests of the child(ren).” To relate your case to the evaluator, you must speak his/her language. Your statements must relate in some way to what is best for the child not the parent. For example, the statement, “my husband drinks too much”, is incomplete. It does not relate how the drinking affects the child(ren). Always relate how the conduct affects the child(ren). A better statement would be: “My husband drinks too much. Because of that, he is rarely home and when he is, he is:.... abusive....spends little quality time with the children....is unable to help the kids with their homework....”
  
  
• Provide the evaluator with the documents supporting your statements.
• Provide the evaluator with the names of collateral contacts, people who are aware of your strong points as a parent and the other party’s weak points. (It is usually better not to include relatives as part of your contacts since they may have a bias).
• ALWAYS ASSUME when you go to court or visit a custody evaluator that you may be ordered to provide a urine sample for testing to determine if you have used drugs or alcohol.

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