1. Family is for Life. When the family business started you had a great vision for working and succeeding together. Nothing - repeat nothing - is more important than your family. If your ego and behaviour finds you challenging the very core of a family relationship, step back and pause for a moment. It's simply not worth it as things said or actions taken in the heat of the moment can often never be undone.

2. Do the Organisational Chart with Titles not Names. This technique is very effective in taking the ego out of the roles played by each family member. When we draft the business' organisational chart with job titles in them (rather than your names) it allows you to consider the person with the most suited skills to fill the role. This strategy requires family members to think in the best interests of the business on a commercial basis.

3. Document Position Descriptions. With the organisational chart completed, the often difficult task of "who does what" need not be so delicate. Using the job title as a guide, you now draft the responsibilities and tasks that a person with that job title would fulfil. This technique often has massive benefits in removing tasks that overlap roles or individuals due to family members taking on responsibilities on a haphazard ad hoc basis.

4. Appoint Individuals to Titles & Position Descriptions. Now you have job titles and position descriptions you can workshop the appointment of individuals to fill these roles. Remember to not limit this analysis to family. Non-family employees should be considered for all roles on an egalitarian basis. You can even extend your thinking to recruiting new staff from external sources if you don't have the right internal fit.

5. Time Out. Allow you and your family to call for "Time Out" when things get a bit hot. Acknowledge that you both have a different view, that it's important you understand each other's point of view and agree on a time to meet again to discuss.

6. Play the Issue not the Person. A Golden Rule is to always "play the issue not the person". Don't include personal attacks or family niggle in your business discussions. Agree with the family that everyone should "call this" if they hear the person being attacked rather than the issue.

7. Dealing with Nepotism. Nepotism is when favoritism is shown to family. Regardless of what you think, there are elements of nepotism in every family business. Don't live in denial. Nepotism is either very alive and recognised within the business or it may be perceived by individual family members and/or employees. The goal of every family business is to avoid nepotism and promote and empower individuals (family or employees) based on merit and performance.

8. Walk the Walk. You will have heard the saying "Do as I say not as I do". Many family businesses have one set of rules for family and another for everyone else. Try and avoid this pitfall and be consistent in how you treat all individuals within the business. The morale, culture and ultimate business success depend on this.

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