Getting back with your ex-girlfriend is a matter of using the right tactics and approach. Most guys who do it wrong do not understand the female psyche. When I broke up with my ex more than a year ago, I was devastated. Sharon was my college sweetheart, the love of my life. Like most guys in my position, I was desperate to get her back. I kept on phoning her, and when that didn’t work, I left messages in her voicemail and sent text messages. Wrong move. That clearly did not move her at all.

So the next thing I did was buy her gifts or send her flowers with notes to say how sorry I was and give her the assurance that I would change etc. Big mistake. I knew I was hitting the wall when she returned the final gift I sent her. I got so desperate that I talked to my older sister about it, something that I never dreamed I would do, since my sister and I weren’t close. But when the chips are down, you would try anything. Fortunately my sister didn’t ignore me or laugh away my predicament. I guess blood is thicker than water.

She listened as I explained that I couldn’t get Sharon to respond to me no matter what I did. Then in her typical straightforward style, she told me to stop acting like a wimp. She said no woman worth her salt would be attracted to a wimp. So the first thing she told me to do was to shape up. When I looked at myself, I realized that she was right. I was a mess. I had not eaten well and hardly slept a wink for the past week or so since I broke up with Sharon.

Under instructions from my sister, I started my new regime. A good breakfast every morning, plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables in my diet, 8 glasses of water and a half hour of jogging a day were the routine. For the first 5 days it was torture. I loved my Big Macs and Coke but I had to say no to them. But after awhile, it became bearable and even enjoyable. The result was I lost 12 pounds in a little more than 2 weeks. I was lean and fit, the color had returned to my cheeks and I felt great. At the same time, I had a lot of time to think. Losing Sharon made me never take anything for granted anymore. I couldn’t afford to be unkind, impatient or selfish any longer. I learned to be more sensitive and helpful, kind and courteous.

The next thing my sister told me to do was to buy some new clothes and start making new friends or catch up with those I haven’t seen for a long time. But how was that going to bring Sharon back to me? "A woman will always desire what is hard to get," my sister explained. So if I show that other people find me friendly and attractive, I make myself more desirable.

So I bought some new clothes and changed the way I looked. I even went for a new hairstyle. I must admit, I thought I didn’t look half bad. That gave me a sense of confidence I never felt before. The next thing I did was to create an occasion to bring together some old friends. I decided to organize a college reunion at the newest bar in town. I called up my best friend from college and we organized it together. And of course, we invited Sharon.

The day came and we had a great time. For the first time in almost 3 months, I talked to Sharon face-to-face albeit briefly. She admitted she was surprised to see my new look. I just smiled and thanked her for noticing. We chatted about casual things, nothing serious. But just seeing her again made me feel good.

Over the next few months, I stayed in touch with Sharon. On the few times we met up, I made it a point to do something fun and enjoyable. I didn’t want to bring up anything to do with commitment or relationship and neither did she. It was only after about ten months when I felt she had noticed the changes in me and she was ready to talk about ‘us’ that I brought up the subject. By that time, she was receptive. I started by apologizing for my mistakes without making any excuses or blaming her for anything.

Thankfully, things went well between us from that time onwards. Today, a year and a half later, Sharon and I are back together again and we have never been happier.