Making a marriage work requires both partners to be devoted in the relationship. But, when things are constantly far from rosy, it is only a matter of time when one of the spouses would reach the point of wanting a divorce when the other is still trying to find achievement in the relationship. The husband or wife will start to act or express verbally his/her frustrations and discontentment, which is very likely to cause the other to feel a myriad of mixed emotions. It is very devastating to find oneís self in the middle of a divorce that has been initiated by oneís spouse.
It can be even more devastating if an affair or a relationship with another person causes the divorce, which is not at all an uncommon occurrence in a lot of marriages today. And, when the unknowing spouse is still in love with the other even when the papers are already served, the usual reaction would be that of total desperation and misery, willing to do almost anything that just might change the spouseís mind. When this happens, it would be wise to take things seriously and take action because letís face it: people donít typically file for a divorce out of impulsiveness.
It would be prudent to ensure security for oneís own interests, especially oneís mental health. Dealing with an unwanted divorce can be tough, particularly if the whole reality of the situation hasnít totally sunk in yet. One moment you will feel sadness, the next time you will be so desperate to get your spouse back and agree to just about anything, even to his terms of divorce which can leave you bone-dry. It is painful indeed, but it is of utmost importance to be level-headed and see things with oneís head instead of the heart. Understand all the legal issues and refer to a counsel before signing anything, and be wary of whatever your soon-to-be ex spouse will say because he might just be lying for his own interests.
The fact that the person you thought youíll grow old with has suddenly stopped loving you can shatter oneís ego to pieces. But, it hardly means that itís the end of the world and everything else for you. Life would still go on no matter what; it only takes a lot of time for all your pain and suffering to start healing. Getting up on oneís feet again can be terrifying, but you donít really have to do it by yourself. Family and friends are there to lend a helping hand or even just a sympathetic listening ear. However, some people would rather talk it out with a professional counselor, because itís easier sometimes to pour everything out to a stranger rather than to a family member.
An unwanted divorce is always awful, and affects a lot of people very much like a loved oneís death. Feelings of low self-worth and depression are all very common, but these will eventually pass. Life will always go on, and time will come when youíll realize that the relationship wasnít that good. There is always a rainbow after the rain, even after an unwanted divorce.