First things first: Cars don't intentionally inspire jealousy in wives. They can't help it if they're shiny, sleek, has amazing torque, and lots of horsepower. But we know cars can be very demanding too. They don't necessarily want pampering, but they'd like it if you'd give them attention on a regular basis. The trick is not to spend more time loving your car than you do loving your wife.

Tell your wife, you just have to read your car's owner's manual because it's your best guide to maintaining the car in tip-top shape. She might frown, but she'll give in. It's just a manual after all. Next, tell your wife, you just have to follow the maintenance schedule. And by God, do follow it. Also, make sure you keep the maintenance records. Your wife will let out a disapproving grunt at this, what with the costs, but she'll give in eventually.

Next, inform your wife that from now on you will have to 1. regularly inspect your car's emission control system,

2. use a high-quality gas cap,

3. always keep tires properly inflated,

4. check belts and hoses,

5. check the air conditioning system for leaks,

6. regularly change fuel filters and air filters,

7.change oil and oil filters as scheduled,

8. always check oil, transmission fluid, and radiator coolant, and

9. replace the PCV valve and breather elements as needed.

By the time you’re done, you would have been too busy to notice your wife packing her bag, ready to leave you. Anyway, she's left a post-it on the fridge telling you to just reheat leftover for dinner.

Here comes your redemption. Tell your wife, all the things you've been doing for the car is for her as well. Not only are you prolonging your car's life and maintaining its peak performance and market value, not only are cutting down on would-be expensive car repair bills, not only are you saving the environment from pollution--not only these-but you are also loving her and the kids, and want only the best.

After all, a well-taken car IS a safe car to ride.

She might not probably believe you, but don't just stand there and let her get out of the door. Take your wife for a ride out of town, or to somewhere nice and special. Like the place where you first met. She'll love you again, and hopefully your car too.