The ability to keep cool in the heat of the moment is one of the most useful skills an individual can have. positive thinking have resilience to stressful events tend to become the most successful in business, personal relationships and careers. Positive thinking people enjoy good mental health, for their mind is sufficiently equipped to deal with the stress we all naturally encounter. A common perception of someone who is resilient is being unemotional and detached. Of course, as we shall see, there is a hell of a lot more to thinking positively and resilient than just being the 'strong silent 'type.

1. Master your mind to the point where they have conquered their impulses. Positive thinking and resilient people are good at regulating their emotions. They tend to stay calm, rather than react violently with tears, anger or fear. Learn how to keep yourself physically calm and you will be better equipped to cope.

2. Learn how to control your physical reaction to an event. There are loads of techniques out there for controlling your breathing and heart rate. You may also want to consider doing something more advanced like Yoga or Tai Chi. These forms of exercise are brilliant for developing mastery over the physical condition. However, this is not essential for there are many other resources available on the internet or library that can teach you about breathing techniques.

For many people, hardship is regarded as a personal issue. Anxiety, stress and impulsive behaviours often stem from an inability to cope with the difficulties of life.

3. Don't see yourselves as victim and dwell on an issue, problem solve - working out what you need to do now to get over what's happened to them.

4. Talk to people and think about practical steps, such as finding a support group. Sympathy feels good, and sometimes it's tempting to be a victim and tell people how bad your troubles are but problem solving will be more constructive in the long run.

5. Don't feel that bad events or a dreadful childhood have to condemn you to a life of problems. Many people survive troubled families. The majority of adult children of alcoholics do not repeat their parents' drinking patterns, and the same is true of adults who have survived families troubled by mental illness, chronic marital problems, racial discrimination and poverty. Some people naturally rebound from knock-backs with their self-esteem intact. If you need help doing this now you're an adult, talking to a therapist can help.

If you have gone through some personal difficulty, be proud of the fact that you are still standing; rather than getting upset about the injustice of the event

6. Something bad happened - but you survived. Try to find things about what you did or how you responded that you can be proud of, find your strengths, and build self-esteem from the achievement.

7. It is important to distinguish between feeling low and suffering from clinical depression. Feeling low or down is something we all experience from time to time. It's a common response to sad or difficult events and situations. Depression is when these feelings are persistent or so strong that they prevent you from doing the things you would normally do.

Depression is often an illness. If you're depressed, the usual feelings of sadness that we all experience temporarily remain for weeks, months and years. They can be so intense that daily life is affected. You can't work normally, you don't want to be with your family and friends, and you stop enjoying the things you usually do.

If you're depressed, you may feel worthless, hopeless and constantly tired. In most cases, if you have milder depression, you can probably carry on but will find everyday tasks difficult. If you have severe depression, you may find your feelings so unbearable that you start thinking about suicide.

If you've had depression and/or anxiety in the past, even if they weren't formally diagnosed, seek help immediately. You're more likely to have an episode of depression if you've had one before.