We worry about our kids: their well-being and happy future are our main concerns in life. We long for them to be content and successful at whatever they choose to do. We hope that we’ll be able to provide them with the same kind of help that many of us have received from our own parents. But how can we ensure that we’re doing everything in our power to make all of this come to pass? Living Happy and Fulfilling Lives
We can, but there’s a process. First, take a few steps back and consider what we truly want for our kids. For example, when I asked a client of mine recently to think carefully of the three things she wished for her children, who range from 16 to 9 years of age, she responded "I want them to be loving, compassionate and responsible adults." There was no mention of rich, famous or powerful. This mother really got to the root of what she knew to be the crucial characteristics necessary for her children to live happy and fulfilling lives. Creating Clarity
Once we have this kind of clarity about the things we really want for our kids, we can then move forward towards instilling those traits in them. But first we must be completely clear. Here what to do:
1. Make a list of what you want for your kids.
Be sure your list is unselfishly motivated! Financial security, love, happiness…even for them to be blessed with kids just like them! That’s what my Mother wished for me and it came true.
Once you have come up with a list of perhaps ten items, start from the top and compare the first two items. Which is most important? Take that choice and compare it to the next item on the list. Again, which is most important? Continue doing this until you have gone through your list and the item that remains is your number one choice.
Repeat the process for your number two, three, four and five choices. This is a list of the five most important things that you want for your kids. Having prioritized, now you can do your best to assist in creating a wonderful future for your kids.
2. Important rule:
You are not making decisions about your children’s personal future. That’s their responsibility and their right to determine. However, as a parent, you are certainly able to influence their future.
3. As an example, let’s say that Financial Security is on your list.
Do you know what it takes to create financial security? Think of people who have managed to achieve financial security on their own. What traits do they share? Perhaps you determine that responsibility is one of those traits.
How do you create responsibility? What do you know to be true about responsible adults? My own personal opinion is that these adults were taught early on about responsibility through actual experience. For instance, most of them probably had specific chores they did at home. Several probably worked in the summers. Many of them may have learned early on to take responsibility for their own lives and not place blame on others nor make excuses. At an appropriate age, the majority were undoubtedly taught to make decisions on their own and suffer the consequences. They learned not by being told what to do but in the actual doing.
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