Ignore the little voice in your head

No-one has passed through this life unhurt, uncared for. Let it all come to the front, ignore that little voice that says "This is not manly." No-one will know. "I have come to terms with it." Well maybe, but beware that you might be living in denial; many people are. If you deny it, you repress it, and spiral down to depression and a messed up life. Go through the exercise, and you will likely find some repressed hurt. If you truly don't, then I'm happy for you.

Let it all out. You might feel weird and self-conscious doing this, it’s normal. The best thing to do is to keep at it. Just do it over and over again until you feel that it is all gone. You'll know when this happens, instinctively. It might take weeks, it might take days, and it’s different for everyone.

Learning how to cry

This might seem strange; but many people have forgotten how to cry. I couldn’t cry for many years.

What you want to achieve is deep crying, the kind that comes from deep inside you physically. A few tears are all right; in fact if you haven’t cried for a long time, it might be all you get the first time you try.

Let yourself grieve. If it is your first time crying in a long time, don’t beat yourself up if you can’t. When I did this, my mind tried convincing me that I was all right, there was no reason to cry. That is an obstacle you have to overcome.

Lie in bed all night and cry. Personally I find it helps to sit in a corner somewhere on the floor and cry. Maybe it echoes with childhood pain. Get a motel if you have to, so no-one can see you (if you live with someone). Cry, and cry, and cry. It's releasing. Again, say what you’ve always wanted to say. Don’t censor yourself.

If it helps, sit down and read some sad and touching stories. For me, Chicken Soup for the Soul by Jack Canfield was what did it for me. In particular a story named, “On Courage”.

What’s next?

Well that should have cleared out most of it. You’re now ready to put a fresh coat of paint. Visit the Urban Monk site for other articles, such as dealing with low-level emotional pain, or pain as it happens. Well done! You’re on your way to mastery!

This article is for educational purposes only. It is based on the author’s research and own experience; however you and you alone are responsible for what you do with it. By reading this article you agree that he will assume no liability or responsibility to any person or entity for any loss or damage related directly or indirectly to this article.

Page 2 of 2 :: First | Last :: Prev | 1 2 | Next