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Today is Dennis's birthday, And he'll probably go out to play, I remember last year he knocked back so much beer, He ended up on Crimewatch UK!

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Simon likes to go out with his mates, Simon likes to take girls out on dates, He likes fish and chips and he likes Man United, And Keira Knightley gets him really excited.

He'll go out on his birthday and paint the town red, He'll drink the bar dry then take cod and chips to bed, He'll lie there wishing that Manchester was nearer, Then he'll drop off to sleep and dream about Keira.

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Andy don't want no presents for his birthday, Andy don't want special grub; Andy don't want no cards and kisses, He just wants to go to the pub!

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Barry is a nuisance on his birthday to be honest, All the usual types of gifts he doesn't like at all; If you haven't spent a fortune he'll thinks your present's modest, So this year I've decided that he's getting B*GGER ALL!

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Elliot quite likes to party On his birthday, with friends far and wide; But curiously the next morning, He just wants to curl up and hide!

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Happy birthday Timothy, Go out and have some fun; Keep up your reputation as A Lazy Drunken Bum!

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There once was a young man called Chris, Who was permanently out on the p*ss, When his birthday came round, He just stayed in his lounge, And drank cocoa all night – oh what bliss!

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