Boy, I learned the hard way that it takes a quality hitch to tow like the big dogs. It happened when I moved my sister’s old singlewide from Shady Acres over to the Starlight. Once we put the wheels on and lowered that old Classic Coach onto the bumper hitch, all hell broke loose—literally.

See, it was the bumper hitch that snapped clean off my rig. My Power Wagon’s a beast, but her bumper’s no match for that big coach. The spill naturally caused all kinds of carnage with Sissy’s belongings. The china dishes from momma were lost and most of her Hummel figurines were smashed.

So, Sissy’s crying and her house’s sittin’ catawampus on the main drag of the Shady Acres Mobile Home Court. Acting fast, I set out to get me one of them proper trailer hitches. You know the ones custom built to bolt directly to your rig’s frame. What I found was a whole lot of choices and even more gibberish.

First, hitches are broken up into classes. Now, I haven’t gone to class since I dropped out of St. Mary's Industrial School for Boys. When I learned they meant “weight” class, it was a relief. Of the four classes, the higher numbers tow more weight. The lower classes use a smaller 1.25 inch receiver; classes III and IV use a larger 2 inch receiver.

Now, my inclination is to go for the highest rating—10,000 lbs. But remember, you can’t exceed your rig’s tow rating. Of course, the old Power Wagon can handle anything, so I went for the 10k. Then, I had to find the right hitch, the one made to fit my rig. This wasn’t so hard since there are a lot of these bad boys to choose from.

So, I took this thing home and got to fabricating. Some folks might pay a fancy mechanic, but if you’re handy, it ain’t a problem. The hitch came with an easy set of directions, but I didn’t need ‘em. The hitch bolted right up, and with my neighbor Erwin’s help, it took less than 30 minutes.

We booked it back to Shady Acres and the dang manager had already called a tow truck. Lucky for us, Sissy was busy wooing the driver with her feminine wiles. With my future ex-brother-in-law distracted, me and Erwin hooked the coach up to the new hitch and pulled that beast over to the Starlight.

Thanks to my custom trailer hitch, I was the hero that day. Sissy got hitched to the tow truck driver, Crumb, who bought her a new Hummel collection and some fancy plates. Life at the Starlight’s better ‘n ever since they refilled the pool and got a new bingo flashboard. Plus, me, Erwin and the Power Wagon tow folk’s homes as a full time gig now and business is booming!

Custom trailer hitches are made for a whole lot of cars, trucks and SUVs. The brands I recommend are Hidden Hitch and Draw-Tite. They’re both strong, look good and are easy to install. Either way, there’s no substitute for a high-quality hitch to get Sissy out of a jam.