He treated his staff the way he treated himself. When they did not live up to his expectations, he became verbally abusive. I observed him at one of his team meetings. He ranted and raved at his staff for the full hour. Most of the subordinates just looked at the floor. I only saw one become energized by this treatment. That was because he had the same system as his chief. When I talked to the other people on his team, they told me they left demoralized, unable to concentrate or do any work for most of the day.

He told me this system of getting angry at himself is what motivated him to become a multimillionaire and head of this company. I happened to see him for marriage counseling (are you surprised, he needed marriage counseling?). His wife told me that she could not sleep with him because he was so restless and twitched all night. For his part, the man really missed sleeping with his beautiful wife.

When he finally understood all the pain and suffering his angry rejection was causing everyone around him, including himself, he made a decision. He decided to accept himself totally. In place of getting angry at himself to motivate himself, he motivated himself by focusing on his goals.

That man's business thrived. This home life was happier. His wife got rid of the twin beds.

He had discovered the key to ultimate happiness and success, which is just to accept yourself, be kind to yourself, forgive and love yourself. That is the key to ultimate happiness and success -- to accept yourself where you are.

Your intrinsic value is based solely on the fact that you are you. You are unique. You have something to offer this world that nobody else has, that nobody else can be. If you truly want to enjoy your life, if you truly want to enjoy ultimate happiness and success, you must give yourself the gift of unconditional high regard.

Understand that when you made mistakes as a parent, or as a spouse, or as a business person; you did the best you knew how. Mistakes have in them the seeds of new learning. Every mistake is part of your education. I have an advanced degree in making mistakes.

I challenge you, right now, to make a decision that you will always have unconditional high self-regard. That you will from now on, take the lesson learned from your mistakes and so-called failures and move on. Leave them behind. Be determined to do better from now on.

When you are frustrated and angry because your goals are eluding you, and we all face such times, do not turn the anger on yourself. Turn the anger on the situation and harness the enormous energy that's in your angry feelings. But keep on liking yourself. Not only will you be happier, the people around you will be happier, your spouse will be happier, your children will be happier--because you are happier.

You will succeed, and grow and improve quickly with less stress.

Again, I challenge you to always honor and love yourself. For that is the number one secret of true happiness.

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