Depressed About Love?

February is more than half over, and another Valentine’s Day has come and gone. It’s funny, as soon we turn the page on the calendar to February, Valentine’s Day pops into the minds of many, especially women. Women wonder if they will be adorned with roses, chocolates or jewelry – particularly a diamond engagement ring. When no form of affection is expressed on this day, whether tangible or intangible, many women are left feeling melancholy year after year.

After being married nearly 17 years, I’m happy to say that I now take Valentine’s Day in stride, because you realize it takes much more than one day out of the year to celebrate love. However, I can’t say that I have always had such an upbeat outlook – particularly when I was single. To be honest, Valentine’s Day often depressed me. Either I was sad about not having a boyfriend, or if I did, I was upset when I did because I didn’t get the quality of gifts or the planned day I expected. In some respect, I believe this "special day" has caused more hurt than happiness, with the true beneficiaries being the retailers!

Perhaps you may find yourself unhappy because that special person has not shown up at your doorstep as of yet. Maybe that person has arrived in your life, but you feel that all as not come together as you imagined it would be. I have discovered that whenever my world is out of harmony with the universe or my plans go awry, oftentimes it is because God is waiting on me. We have a tendency to ask God for things that we are not ready for, or don’t need, for that matter. When God delays or denies, know that He has a purpose for doing so. In the meantime, seek His face, because you may be the hindrance. When His blessings roll off the assembly line in heaven, He assures that no regret is attached to them (Proverbs 10:22). It is God’s good pleasure to bless His children. He readily provides for our needs, but He will only give us what we want when our desires are in line with His will – and only when we are ready.

As I mention this, I’m reminded of this one day I was spending some time with my boyfriend. We were watching a video of a speech given by a popular motivational speaker. The speaker mentioned that you should always have someone in your life that pours into you and makes your life better. I turned to my boyfriend and asked, "Do you feel I pour into you?" He paused and began to ponder my question. That was not the response I was expecting, but it was an eye-opener. At the time, I had been in a depressed state for quite some time, and I was doing a lot of murmuring and complaining. It seemed as though our relationship was on a downward spiral for awhile. I didn’t realize I was adversely impacting our relationship in the process. I was doing more draining than pouring. God was waiting on me to get my attitude together along with some other things before my boyfriend could become my husband.

God reminds us in Philippines 1:6, "Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

Speaking the truth in love,

Teresa R. Jones

Author, Return to Your First Love