James works long hours and Elizabeth doesn’t feel he is there for her. When there are children involved who need a lot of attention and caring, partners can feel like they don't get enough time together and might start feeling left out. Here are some tips on how best to save a relationship from this sort of stress.
First, you must decide whether the relationship is worth saving. Just about every relationship can be saved with a bit of effort but both parties need to coincide in their commitment to each other. If one person has given up then the relationship can't possibly be saved.
Many relationships exist purely because it's convenient or they think they have to remain there for the sake of the children. But that is not enough. Both parties need to agree that the relationship is worth saving and re-commit to each other.
Next, you must pinpoint the problem or problems in a relationship. A big mistake is to make the assumption that symptoms of the problem are the problem itself.
One such example is an affair. Many couples can mistakenly think that the affair is the problem but the fact is the affair was triggered by a much deeper problem. For instance, a lack of true intimacy can lead to a straying spouse. As you can see, the perceived problem is only a symptom of a much deeper problem. Some partners might use guilt as a means of stopping another affair from happening but what is more likely to happen is that another symptom (problem) may occur such as an obsession with pornography. The only effective way of solving the problem is to deal with the core issue.
Dealing with the core issue will result in a happier and healthier relationship.
After identifying the core of the problem you then need to share all of your thoughts. Talking and listening is the key here. Both partners need to verbalize their issues and listen to the others concerns. Even though the relationship is having a tumultuous time, holding hands while you talk will help you reconnect and recommit to each other. Talking about things that have happened can cause old wounds to re-open but remember that you are only communicating to save the relationship, not to cause pain.
An action plan on how to surmount the problems is required now that you know what exactly is causing a breakdown in the relationship. Then, take concrete steps on your action plan. If you don’t spend time together like you used to, plan a date night every week. Take turns coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together each Thursday. If your relationship has been suffering from communication problems allocate some time where you can do just that. A good example is to set aside 20 minutes or so before bed where you can just talk
When problems arise don't be quick to blame. Instead, find out why. If you are at fault be quick to apologize. Saving a relationship is a long process. Patience and understanding is the key to making a success of it.