"I’ve been well for eight years now, I think I’ll be sick for a few months, and let someone else have all the wellness."
Ridiculous, isn’t it? You never feel guilty that you are well while others are sick, do you? Because you understand that you cannot deprive another of an energy, an experience. Yet many of us carry around some version of guilt or unworthiness not so far away from this.
As you know, guilt and unworthiness are some of the lowest energies we can carry around as human beings. They deprive us of our natural sense of deservingness, and prevent the natural flow of the world’s abundance in our direction. I speak of true abundance such as love, internal peace, spiritual freedom.
When divorce, death, or tragedy appear in someone else’s life, do you jump quickly to blame them for their misfortune? Well, self-blame is no better than blaming someone else.
May I offer some advice? - You can never be hungry enough to feed one single starving child. - You can never be angry enough to change what happened. - You can never be sorry enough to give up your innocence, deservingness, and right to abundance.
Likewise you can never be poor enough to help the impoverished thrive. It is ONLY in your thriving that you have enough of ANYTHING to offer ANYONE. So why not love and respect yourself anyway, regardless, and without judgement.
If your self-love tank is running low, and you are still giving freely of yourself or your energy to others, you HAVE NO BUSINESS DOING SO, and are only requesting the universe to supply you with future resentment, anger, or frustration. It is one of the fastest routes to the emotional poorhouse, and not the way to help anyone. Taking on too much simply reinforces your own opinion that YOU are not deserving of time, energy, freedom, peace etc, and becomes a template for your own future behaviour.
If you feel guilty about a specific event, were you doing the best you could? Given your resources, age, beliefs, inner wisdom, upbringing, circumstances? I mean, who gets out of the bed in the morning saying “Hey! How can I really screw this day up as much as possible?” At each moment in time it is safe to assume that all of us are making the best possible decisions we can to benefit ourselves, our loved ones, etc
Do you recognise yourself in any of these themes?
As far as I am concerned, regardless of what you have done (or not done), you are a wonderful human being, every bit as deserving of abundance in all its forms from the universe as the baby born next to you in the hospital. We are all born with a life, a chance, and a spirit. The baggage we pick up along the way, in the form of beliefs, emotional trauma, stress, etc will attempt to convince you otherwise. But we all came from the same place. And carrying around a whole other person or event on your shoulders isn’t going to benefit you or anyone else. It’s just not useful.
You can choose peace instead of where you are at. You can choose to be happy rather than right. You can choose to reconsider the decision you made about yourself when it happened.
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