"The past does not define you, the present does."

• Jillian Michaels

Years ago when I first read Robert Kiyosaki's Rich Dad Poor Dad: What the Rich Teach Their Kids About Money-That the Poor and the Middle Class Do Not!, his message of financial education for children resonated with me. I do not recall learning anything about money in school other than how to count it and how to write a check.

It is difficult for me when I meet with a family who doesn't have the confidence they wish they would have about how their children would handle finances down the line. Often, the parents have seen the results of their own poor financial decisions and want to insulate their children from those same experiences.

When we prepare a will or trust for a family, we spend a good amount of time wading through financial documents and helping clients make the best beneficiary decisions. By learning the family's attitudes about life, money and the values parents seek to pass on, we can best help them meet their planning objectives. At the point of making these decisions, we can put into place a whole range of mechanisms which will ensure that financial assets are properly distributed. But I can't help but wonder about helping this problem at the source.

Wouldn't it be great if our children had the experience and self-control to handle money, starting at an early age?

I've put together some pointers for you (10 of them) which will help your family (and mine!) raise children who "get it" when it comes to money.

And, of course, I'd love your thoughts...

Teach Your Children Well About Money

As Americans try to spend less and go on a budget, this provides an opportunity to teach our next generation financial principles they may never have seen in the prosperous years they have been alive. Here are ten principles for teaching children about money:

1. Talk about money. Every time money is involved, parents have a chance to teach their children the values and analysis behind their actions. I don't mean that money should be the primary topic of discussion, but when it arises, it can be one of the most important topics through which we communicate our wisdom and values to our children. Every purchase, investment, or donation can be a time to teach your children something about your values. What do your purchases tell your children about your values?

2. Talk openly about money. Parents make a mistake when they treat money as a taboo subject and keep information from their children. The only way children learn what is a good deal and what is too expensive is by the experience of what their family earns and what items cost. Hiding this information robs children of the financial education they need.

3. Talk factually about money. Many parents have strong emotions about money based on their childhood experiences. These emotions are always transmitted to children. Instead of helping children, they can prevent children from growing to make sound financial decisions.

4. Require chores; pay for optional work. Everyone in the family has to help complete the work that needs to be done. If you want to pay your children, only pay them for optional work they can choose to do or not to do.

5. Provide children an allowance they can make real choices with. Talk about money is important, but children need real-world lab experience to understand the consequences of their decisions. Consider giving them an allowance large enough so that they can purchase some of their own needs. Then continue to give them honest advice, and help them ask the right questions to make wise decisions based on their values.

6. Help children prioritize purchases. Ask them if this purchase is better than other purchases they are considering making.

7. Help children comparison shop. Help them consider issues such as cost, quality, and convenience.

8. Require children to wait before making large purchases. Ideally, adults should wait at least a month whenever they are making a large purchase. Children shouldn't be expected to wait that long. Here is a good rule of thumb: children should be required to wait as many days as they are old in years before being allowed to make a large purchase (over a week's allowance). There is always tomorrow and over half the time they won't remember what attracted them to it in the first place. Developing this habit will help make them resistant to impulse buying.

9. Don't use money as a punishment. Your priority should be helping to give your values to your children, not buy their outward behavior.

10. Don't loan your children money! If their desired purchase is something they should be saving for, let them save for it. If you want to buy it for them for the value of the experience, buy it for them. The principles are "If they want it, they have to save for it. If you want them to have it, you will buy it for them." Loaning your children money for items they want teaches them they aren't responsible and they don't have to prioritize.

I hope these ideas help stimulate your thinking about what financial behavior you'd like to teach your children.

Kurt Zimmerman is a friendly, "jargon free" estate planning attorney in the Fort Lauderdale area. He offers estate planning services in the Fort Lauderdale area and beyond, as well as a variety of legal services for regular families. For a Free Report on estate planning, visit: http://flestateplanning.com.