What do you let define your level of success? What motivates you? What inspires you to keep moving forward in a world where it seems just as easy to stop moving at all? Does happiness have a room at your house?

For most people it's their job and how much money they make. While that's one measure of accomplishment and achievement, it's only one.

I was engaged in a conversation with new friend I made and listening to her talk was heart wrenching and a nice reality check for me.

So many people are trapped in their own lives it scares me. First you should know that the only reason it's a bad thing to be trapped in your own life is it completely stops the natural growth progression that you are meant to experience.

And that conversation with my new friend is a great example of that.

She's in her mid 40's and has a job that pays her a pretty decent salary. She brings home 6 figures a year in salary plus additional bonuses.

But when she talked to me every word was full of desperate energy. Every sound she muttered had frustration, confusion and a sense of defeat in it.

Her words were confident and powerful words but they didn't have that energy behind them.

She used words like independent, leadership, project management, the ability to drive things to completion and so on but her face was droopy and eyes were dead.

Then she mentioned that the previous week she participated in a project for Habitat for Humanity. Her and some co-workers went and put a new floor in someones house who needed it but didn't have the means to do it.

What happened then was powerful. She lit up like a shooting star, her posture straightened up, her eyes filled with love and life, her words become genuinely confident and powerful, and her entire existence was filled with a sense of purpose and fulfillment.

As we chatted about her charitable experience she stayed full of high energy and life. The more her body would change the more excited she became. And then it happened...

I asked her why she didn't do more of that type of work. Her answer was simple, it didn't pay enough. She said it's impossible to add that kind of contribution to the world and make as much money as she makes.

And within 30 seconds she was slumped over and looked like hell again. It's like a little guy in the control center of her body just flipped the switch and turned the lights out!

I was in complete fascination. How can it be that powerful of a difference and that obvious but still be so confusing?

See, to my new friend her highest value was being defined as a successful woman and the association to success she has is how much money she makes.

So I asked her, “How does it feel to be an unhappy success?” She looked at me and had a short circuit in her brain. She couldn't comprehend being “successful” but still very unfulfilled and unhappy.

Success, how ever you define it, is supposed to make you feel good and if it doesn't it's a sign that somethings gotta change!

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