Always start with a consideration for consideration offer: a presentation of the minimum transfer conditions well within your negotiating limits. Declare yourself up front. 'You have something I want and I have something you want. I am a negotiator. Let's negotiate about the transfer conditions.' For example, 'I would like for you to…. I understand that it would be something that would change things a little for you. I think that I have an offer that will make it a comfortable thing for you, though. In consideration of your…, I will….' Simply fill in your consideration and my consideration: the minimum transfer conditions. You have made me a consideration for consideration offer and have done so in a way that lets me know that you are a serious negotiator.

If I begin negotiating, all is well. I might say, 'I might think about what you want from me; but what you're offering is not enough for me to give you what you want, you will need to….' I have made a counter offer and we are 'horse trading' as the negotiators say. Suppose I say, 'No.' Are the negotiations over? Being a good negotiator you understand my saying 'No' as simply my first negotiation offer. You say, 'That really surprises me. Under what conditions would you…?' I will then probably make an opening offer - present an initial set of transfer conditions to you. If not, you simply learned that what you want is - from my point of view - simply not negotiable.

The following tips have been found by good negotiators to increase their negotiating effectiveness and increase the extent to which they are respected as effective negotiators.

Stay relaxed and friendly.

Remember the 80-20 rule. Eighty percent of the movement - progress - will be made in the last 20 percent of the time available for negotiating. Knowing this makes it easier to stay relaxed and much easier to be patient.

Keep your focus on the negotiations - the transfer conditions. Skilled negotiators will try to distract you, will talk about things unrelated to the negotiations, and try to diffuse your focus. Through this process, keep your internal focus, your mind's eye on the negotiations.

Ask for and suggest options. When suggesting options, raise - only as possibilities - different mixes or combinations of consideration. Here, it is important to take care to always stay within your negotiating limits.

Always remember that you are negotiating and never simply trying to get your own way. Your focus is on the transfer conditions and includes your giving me something in exchange for what you hope to get.

The following negotiating strategies appear subtle and not easily seen from the point of view of the negotiation novice. For a skilled negotiator like the one you are becoming, though, they are easy to spot and are an important part of your negotiating repertoire.

Use the first third of the available negotiating time simply to get a feel for my interest. Importantly, you will also determine what I want; but my interest represents how I think I will be better off if we are able to successfully complete our negotiations. 'Interest' is not what I want but rather 'Why' I want it.

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