Once you have a feel for my interest, develop a priority listing of that interest as you understand it. Put my most important interest - my most important 'Why' at the top of the list and then continue listing my interest in terms of descending priority for me.

Acknowledge and facilitate my interest in the priority order you have developed.

Based on your understanding of my interest, take time to show me how I am going to be better off.

As you talk about the transfer conditions, be very clear. Show me who, what, when, where, why, and - most importantly - how.

Within any exchange - meeting transfer conditions - there are some risks. If there were no risks to me including no possibility of being less well off after I give you what you want, I would probably simply give it to you. I would understand that as doing you a favor and, if nothing else, would expect that you might reciprocate at some point in the future. When negotiating, there are always some risks. Be up front with me and very specific about the risks. Show me all of the risks. This will require that you think about the situation from my point of view, from my perspective. Good negotiators are superbly skilled with this aspect of the process. From my point of view, what are the risks? It is always better if you bring them up and define them clearly for me than if I bring them up in the process.

As you interact with me, limit the amount of detail you bring into the process, be very accurate, and always have more detail available to expand on or back up anything you say. Wait for me to request the additional detail, though. If I do not request it, it is appropriate for you to indicate that more detail is available if I would like to have it. Let it go at this, though. (From a strategic point of view, this puts you in the position of being the expert who is teaching me.)

Show me how we will share the risks and responsibilities. Remember that the person with whom you are negotiating will be more comfortable if the risks and responsibilities are shared as opposed to either you accepting all of the risk or responsibility or the other person accepting all of the risk or responsibility. From this perspective, the key is to maintain each of us as equal participants in the process.

Always let me be the one to make the final decision. Even if I may have made the last offer and you are prepared to accept it say, 'I think you have made an offer I can accept. I think we are about to a point where we can agree to agree. What do you think?' Whenever possible, let me make the final decision. Why? Because I will feel better, feel more in control, and feel more comfortable with the position into which you have gotten me.

Always credit me with having made a good decision. Say, 'I feel like you have made a really good decision. I appreciate the time you have spent talking with me about this.' What if my decision was to simply stop negotiating and not do what you wanted me to do? The response is the same. 'I appreciate the time you have taken to talk with me about this. All things considered, I think you have made a good decision from your point of view. It did not turn out quite the way I wanted it to turn out; but I respect the decision you have made.' Why do this? You never know; you may want to negotiate with me again. You have left our relationship at a point where I feel good about you and about negotiating with you again. Save your negative feelings or reactions for a later time when you are by yourself and can say anything you want to say. At the point our negotiations stop, though, take care not to 'burn your bridges behind you,' as they say.

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