Grandparents provide everything - unconditional love, patience and a loving ear to hear untold worries of the young child. The bond between the grandparent and the grandchild is so special; it could well be called magical.
But this unique bond suffers great stress when the biological offspring faces marital trouble and signs a separation agreement with the spouse. Separation agreement eventually leads to marital separation. And grandparents greatly fear the curtailment of their visits in such an eventuality.
Grandchildren also love their grandparents dearly. Denied of their presence, they would greatly suffer. Recognising the value of their role in the life of the grandchild, many separation agreements have made special visitation provisions for the grandparents too.
When a child stays with its mother, visits by the maternal grandparents are allowed. And paternal grandparents visit when the child is with its father. Thus a particular clause in separation agreement ensures that the child receives the love of either set of grandparents.
Marital Separation following Separation Agreement - Marital separation is a painful period for the child. The child deeply fears insecurity. It is at these troubled times that grandparents provide the much-needed security assurance.
- Their assurance eases the pain felt by the child. But it floods back during times of festive celebrations. It is only the support by grandparents that helps them through these troubled times.
- However, the worries of the grandchild are so numerous that no amount of support seems to be enough. These worries resurface when the custodial parent starts dating once again. The child fears the introduction of a step-parent. This fear gets magnified if the child dislikes the new person. It is only to the grandparents can the child confide. And grandparents are the only people who can take preventive steps, accordingly.
- Even when the grandparents are non-residents, they stay in constant touch. They mail, make phone calls, bake cookies and plan to make the visits of their grandchild memorable. This support helps keep the child emotionally strong.
Life Following Separation Agreements
After turning signatories to the separation agreement, either partner begins leading an independent life. Independence might also signal financial difficulties. The mother; who stayed at home once, is now forced to step out and earn for the family. This necessity turns a source of constant stress and tension, for the young child cannot be left alone the whole day through.
In times such as these, it is the grandparents who step in readily, to provide day care. Some grandparents in the UK take care of their grandchild for 20 hours a week while others provide support for more than 40 hours every week.
Grandparents are natural care-givers. No day care centre can equal the attention and love they provide. - They are the most trustworthy source who can be entrusted with the care of the child.
- Only grandparents can answer the endless queries of the child. Even the child’s own parents lack the time and energy to pay attention.
- The non-judgemental hearing they give the grandchild emotionally strengthens it.
- Grandparents also provide the requisite tools for the physical and emotional development of the child. Their rich experience in tutoring their own children helps them in this process.
When day care has to be provided for the young, people often approach their parents. In the UK, the number of children cared for by their grandparents has increased by 49% over the last two generations. This increase is directly proportional to the increase in the number of separation agreements signed. If the day care services provided by the grandparents in the UK were to be monetarily estimated, it would amount to £ 1 billion a year.
Their support greatly relieves stress and tension during the troubled times in their offspring’s life. The strength of their support is immensely felt in the period following the separation agreement. The services they provide are invaluable.
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