It is true and common knowledge that our childhood defines who we become and how we behave. A childhood should be full of positive influences, a healthy environment and happy memories. It should be about a strong, balanced, and secure foundation that will prepare us for life ahead and keep us grounded, no matter what happens.

In a sense our childhood is the DNA of our entire lives. Perhaps, our behaviour as adults can be traced back to a childhood experience. In a world that is full of strife, unexpected events, ups and lows, a happy and secure childhood will hold us in good stead. It is only as children that we have no pre-conceived notions and can actually decide that we want a happy world to live in.

If our childhood is shaky, insecure and unhappy, we will add more negative energy to the world at large. You and I know this and yet we could be in situations that make us a party to an unhappy childhood. Do you have a husband who beats your children? Even if it breaks you to be witness to the physical abuse, are you a silent spectator and therefore contribute to the situation. Do you feel helpless and torn between holding on to your marriage and at same time protecting your children?

Torn Between Mother and Wife Roles

You could be one of those unfortunate people who are married to a man who is a child beater. You could be torn between your duties as mother and wife. However, this is not a situation that calls for a compromise. You are responsible for bringing the children into this world. By remaining a silent spectator to your husband’s abusive nature, you are party to this unacceptable treatment. Beating children is not a form of discipline but the act of a man who is deeply troubled, frustrated or just a plain and simple nasty human being.

Remember when you were a child and you faced fear for the first time, didn’t it all go away when you looked back and saw your parents standing strong and protectively by you? Imagine then if the very person who should make the fear go away is the cause of that fear. How then can your child live a life free of fear and conflict? How can you love your child and put it in harm’s way even if “harm” happens to be your husband? Even before the question of being a silent spectator to your husband’s abusive ways, the question you should ask yourself is, does a man who is unkind and harmful deserve your love? Is he really worth holding on to?

Sure, life is not always simple and perhaps your husband was a model father until he lost his job, started drinking and became abusive. In such circumstances, you should work with your husband to deal with the problem and perhaps support and love can give him back his temporarily lost confidence. There are issues that can be worked out but without ever having to compromise on your child’s safety.

Is Divorce the Answer?

There comes a time when the foundation of your marriage is tested and you have to decide if you want to hold on or move on. However, there are also comes a time when you must make the choice to move on. If you are in a marriage where your husband constantly beats your children, then you should seriously question the future of your marriage.

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