Arguing is a frustrating part of life. Everyone does it from time to time but most people don't really want to. Soon you'll discover how to end almost any argument before it really even gets started.

Before you use what you are about to learn there are a few things you should think about.

First off what is this argument about? This is important so that you can know exactly how to handle the situation. For example if you just got in a fender bender you would handle the situation differently then if someone was just in a bad mood and was arguing with anyone about anything.

Secondly you need to consider what type of person this is, what kind of car they drive, what kind of cloths are they wearing, how well do they present themselves, what does their body language say? All these things contribute to how you will handle the argument. Essentially the more information you can get about this person in the first few seconds the better.

Thirdly choosing the right technique. This is very important because some techniques just won't work on certain people, and you need to be able to identify which type of person you are dealing with.

There are many different techniques you can use to end arguments rapidly and happily and they depend on what kind of person you are dealing with. If you are dealing with someone who seems to be very high strung you will want to do something very quickly, if you are dealing with someone who is breathing moderately you will want to take a little more time.

Adjust the techniques to the target. If the target is driving an expensive car and a designer suit, you can make assumptions about what type of person they may be, but remember that your initial assumption may have been incorrect so be willing to adjust.

Speak to the target at the same rate and pitch they are, and gradually lower your tone and slow down the tempo, If you have matched theirs they will slow down with you. This is called pacing you can also do this by matching their breathing rate and then gradually decreasing yours, they will follow. It is very hard for someone to be upset if they are breathing at a relaxing rate and speaking at a relaxing tone.

You can also pace using body-language. If you follow their body language in smaller movements (say they cross their arms you cross your hands) then after you do this a few times start making your own body movements they will follow and you start using relaxing body-language they also will relax with you.

Using language patterns is also a good way to quickly diffuse arguments. Using calming words like slowly, calmly, relax, sleep, tired, release, down, descend anything that puts a calming image in the mind. Understanding your target is key. Try to see the world through their eyes as fast as possible.

Use words that the target uses, if the target says see, I saw, color, look at that anything visual be visually descriptive. If they use auditory words hear, heard, sound, loud, quiet you know to use auditory descriptive words, and so on. This will also have a calming effect on the target.

Memories are a great way to diffuse arguments. Every memory has a feeling attached to it. Bring up a memory like;

...this reminds me of a time when my father got into a little fender bender. Someone hit him from behind and he was furious at first. Then just as he got out out of the car he slipped on his shoelaces and fell on too the road. My mom had been warning him about them all day but he had not listened. When he hit the ground we all expected him to be more angry but he just rolled over and started laughing. He must have laughed for ten minutes. The more he laughed the more we all laughed and the other guy laughed....

This is just a very basic example of how to bring up happy memories and relate them to the scenario you are involved in. If the person is really angry you want to tell them a story that progresses form angry to happy. Then say some thing a long the lines of;

I bet you have a memory like that where you thought someone one was going to get really mad about something but instead they just laughed themselves better. It may have even happened to you at some point.

This will take them back to their own memory which will trigger happy feelings and diffuse the situation.

If you introduce yourself immediately to someone who you can tell is about to begin something with you it will go along way. Be polite and well mannered. This will also go a long way. The most important thing to remember is to not let your self be dragged into an argument unknowingly. If you are, there are ways out of it but your best bet to get out of an argument graciously is to not get in one in the first place.