When it comes to a discussion of human fertility, the saying “life is not fair” seems to have extraordinary significance. Couples who don’t want to get pregnant seem to be the ones that do and the ones that do—don’t. Nobody knows this better than the couples that desperately want children but fail to conceive, month-after-month. As the biological clock keeps on ticking, is there anything more that these couples can do? Absolutely!

Having interviewed hundreds of couples who have meticulously documented the woman’s fertile days and the days on which intercourse occurred, it has become crystal clear that: (a) most couples think that they are doing a good job of having intercourse on all the right days, while (b) the vast majority are completely missing the boat!

What is so difficult about Fertility Focused Intercourse?

Let’s start with the basics of female fertility cycles. First, Women of normal fertility are not fertile very often. From a biologic perspective, the most fertile woman on the planet can only conceive between 5 and 6 days per menstrual cycle. A woman with reduced fertility might have significantly fewer days that are truly fertile, perhaps 2 or 3. According to simple mathematics, if there are only 3 days per month to conceive, that is only 36 days at the end of the year. Second, not all fertile days are created equal. Intercourse that occurs on “the day” of ovulation can be assumed to be the most fertile day of the menstrual cycle, but even then the probability of achieving a pregnancy is never 100%!

When does ovulation occur?

Frequently, ovulation occurs approximately 14 after the first day of the menstrual period. In a classic study by Vollman[1] of 14,848 menstrual cycles, ovulation as detected by a shift in basal body temperature occurred on exactly day 14 in only 1,591 cycles (10.7%). Thus the exception here is far more common then the rule. The 28-day normal menstrual cycle is simply a myth. The first step in fertility focused intercourse, therefore, is to do away with any notion of a calendar and to adopt a method of detecting when ovulation actually occurs.

There are many ways to “detect” the day of ovulation such as monitoring LH and estrogen in the urine or checking for cervical mucus and changes in the basal body temperature (just to name a few). Unfortunately, however, there is no way to “observe” when ovulation actually occurs. No matter what method you are using, the margin of error is at least plus or minus 2 to 3 days (sometimes more). This means that if you rely on your favorite indicator of the day of ovulation to tell you when to have intercourse you may be missing the most important day to conceive on a regular basis.

What is the best way to time intercourse?

So what is the best advice? Unfortunately, healthcare providers frequently offer some of the worst information. For example, “we were told to have intercourse ‘every other day’ in order to ‘save sperm.’” “Have intercourse every month starting on day 6 for 12 consecutive days.” Or even worse, “because you do not know when the most fertile day is you would have to have intercourse every day to maximize your chances.” – nonsense!

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