So its not for nothing that baby boomer women are a little confused – in terms of both aging and sexuality. What happens to baby boomer women as they meet their 50s onwards?

Somewhere along the menopause continuum, there is an acquiescence or reconciliation to whatever has been achieved or transpired to date. Emotionally there is an acceptance of sorts and a sense of being more authentically oneself, as best as is possible this time round; however contented or discontented people are with their lives at this over-the-mid-point point. The issue around sexuality is entrapped in individual life narratives and old opinions. There is more concern about financial security.

A lot revolves around people's physical well being, health and fitness. Of course by the time menopause has struck, people are living the consequences of a lifetime of stress, wrong food, hard living, plus the deep cultural expectations around getting older which have impacted their bodies. Partners may have died, become ill or lost interest.

Only now are there books around talking about the soul (as well as the medical science) of menopause, where thoughts, intentions and our spirituality determine a different bodily response. There is also the rapidly evolving nutritional science of anti aging and wellness which create more options. Where everything disintegrates into illness and frailty, sexuality dissipates with the life force itself. A good dose of luck and good attitude also makes a difference.

Discussions with baby boomer women reflect a remarkable stonewalling of sorts, as people defend the position they are currently carved into. "When people reach our age, what is there to learn?" There are those bold and passionate Lolitas in their 50s who love sex, love and seduction and are now coming face to face with the old double standard of older women with younger men.

Some baby boomer women don't expect to be seen as sexy but are proud to be living from an authentic centre, with or without sex. Some, who are celibate, see sexuality as spiritual but sublimated into and expressed through art, home, loving family, pets. Or they get into religion and/or spirituality or good causes.

All will agree that you can enjoy a "roll in the hay" when you are over 60, but its all about sexual intercourse with a partner. There is a fundamental confusion between being sexually active and an erotic, spiritual sexual awareness.

For many its not about age but about situation; having a partner is the key. It is considered something normal, fun and if you are dating the right person, are married (and he can still do it) or in a committed relationship. Others speak about sex with a consenting friend, who for whatever reason you would not want a "relationship" with but agree to safe sex occasionally.

Others simply give up. Mary, a divorcee in her mid 50s, had spent a few unsatisfactory promiscuous years as she went through a difficult divorce. When she became a grandmother, she literally closed down and focused fully on her new role..

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